My agreement with myself...

Over the last couple of years I have had the time to explore many word and thoughts of great teachers and philosophers. It becomes quite confusing to try and take all the viewpoints and "truths" into my own heart, which does come with certain...boundaries.

I really do not want to become a skeptic, a person who shrinks everything that is magical and rejects those concepts which require faith, into something small enough for me to grasp. Surely all that I know and have experienced is not all there is?! Just imagine before we had microscopes, x-rays and telescopes, we believed only what we could see...and this is a few hundred years ago. In a world which is estimated (scientifically!) to be around 4.5 billion years old - we definitely do not have an inkling of how great this creation is!

This is where I am now, as this is what I have learned and have experienced first-hand - The moment someone has a problem with:
- Change
- Loss of control
- Boundaries
...there is a trust-issue with oneself. As if we need to control the world around us, because what is going on inside our hearts and minds is not clear or accepted. When we do not know and therefor do not trust ourselves, how can we deal with an ever changing world around us?

A way to become less confused and stuck and fearful, is to sort out an agreement with yourself. This agreement is about honouring yourself in a world without boundaries. It means always having your "self" and not loosing your way. I also learned that surrendering means that I surrender to the knowledge that I do not have control over other people or events, but I will not surrender my agreement with myself. This would be harmful to me and I would betray the most sacred of contracts - the one with myself.

My contract is personal but it deals with issues like how I will try and always speak the truth, the kindness I extend to others, the way I do not take everything personal or assume things, how I will not lend my ears to people who spread fear or hate with words, how I will be forgiving to myself and others but disciplined with what I eat and taking quiet time each day. It does not matter what you cover, as long as you have something that you hold on to, which represents that man or woman that you want to see in the mirror each day.

So having written that down and reading it every day, I am surrendering to magic and faith and the unexplained! I am OK with things not always going my way - I just try my best every day. And in the meantime, just in case we are visited from beyond, I diligently practice my Vulcan-salute: "Live long and prosper"!