Winging it ;)

"Fake it till you make it!" A much-laughed-about saying from my best friend.

When the confidence, the knowledge or the context is not always present, the best way to enter into the unknown is with an air of "I can do this thing". At least for the first couple of minutes people read your fake confidence and they react to it with a sigh of satisfaction - strength is always appreciated, either to hang on to or to sustain a good fight :)

So here comes a pint-sized tortoise and she encounters a sprig of basil, a new enigma in her world of fynbos. She pee'ed once, sniffed twice and then went for it in a big way. What a lesson!

Enough with the lamenting and the worrying, the thinking and analysing....it's Friday...let's open the champagne and build a fire for the braai. Life's good...I think?!

A sad, sad day...

Today is the 10th of December 2013. This day could not have been harder. Instead of participating, I decided to make a restful retreat and to blanket myself from this day. I have no more tears and my heart is heavy....

Today is the memorial of our beloved Nelson Mandela.

Today is also the memorial service for Arlene, a beautiful friend who passed away tragically in Nepal whilst on her gap year and honeymoon.

And today is the day my best friend immigrates to the UK. I hope we'll meet up soon because our journey is not done.

 

 

 

A sad day indeed....

Oh wise one!

We had a super Sunday at the World of Birds in Hout Bay. JC knows I am a little obsessed with owls at the moment. I see them everywhere and I have been wearing an owl bracelet for a while.

So imagine my wonder when I got to meet the most beautiful and exotic birds, literally face-to-face. The personalities and the eccentricities. Bold and bright or quietly camouflaged, they where all there. I felt like I intruded into a different world.

The bird were either injured, rescued, or they were pets. Very sad and a real wake-up call to people who do not realise that these are living things who get attached and struggle to adapt after we humans intervened.

My favorite area was of course, the owl sanctuary. Huge graceful birds, wise and wonderful. I am in awe of nature...

 

 

I know why the caged bird sings, ah me,
When his wing is bruised and his bosom sore,—
When he beats his bars and he would be free;
It is not a carol of joy or glee,
But a prayer that he sends from his heart’s deep core,
But a plea, that upward to Heaven he flings—
I know why the caged bird sings!

PL Dunbar

And so it is done :)

"But I am not...special," Baily says. "Not in the way they are."
"You are not destined or chosen," Celia says. "I wish I could tell you that you were, but it is not true. You're in the right place at the right time, and you care enough to do what needs to be done. Sometimes that's enough."

The Night Circus, Erin Morgenstern

 

 

 

So , off to Langebaan to complete the inevitable. My best friend and I completed our Reiki journey and will now be able to teach and guide others on their way. I always thought of great teachers as people who see the candle in others and just gives them the light they need. Still your candle, your journey and your responsibility to shine and light your way, but we all need that spark. I feel I am in the right place at the right time.

 



Window washing in the rain :)

So off we went to save our little haven by the sea...

We found the roads flowing like rivers, the fireplace waterlogged, the braai representing a waterfall. And also an ideal opportunity to let nature wash the windows - with a little help from a friend :)

So this is summer in the Western Cape and we are a winter rainfall region. Not too sure what is happening but 3 seasons in one day with the most amazing full moon hanging low and lit in a moody sky. 

Love nature :)

21-day Meditations...

I started a bit late - it commenced on the 10th of November, but can highly recommend Deepak and Oprah's 21-day meditation. It is free on the link below and gives a beautiful message every day, as well as a 15min meditation and some questions for your journal. Very powerful to think how many people are doing this together.

https://chopracentermeditation.com/

As my previous Boss used to say: "...sort your sh#t out Ms. Le Roux!"

So here I go....

Ethics....and other scandals!

I attended a talk on "Ethics in Business" last night. Always good to see what happened over the last decade, with the 101 Acts and pieces of legislation, Kings III etc. And let me not get into all the unintended manifestations of people in high places - it made for an evening of high entertainment!

We spend so much time talking about what is right and what is wrong, when people of such high intelligence should know this by now? It is rather the discussion on the choices we make, in spite of knowing, and how we justify these decision, that make me sit up and take notice.

A highlight of the evening...a reflection of what happens when you become a highly regulated society, with a free media :)

But the best part was when the speaker ended with...."enough with the applause, now throw the money!". How's that for awesome irony :)

Part of the whole....

I believe that nothing happens without a reason. Everything is part of a bigger plan. There are no coincidences: The person you sit next to on a flight, the animal who chooses you, the bullying boss or the difficult student. All have been send to assist you to discover yourself and your purpose in this life. Impossible to do on your own, no matter how self-sufficient or independent you may be...eish!

"A human being is part of a whole, called by us the ‘Universe’ —a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts, and feelings, as something separated from the rest—a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”

Albert Einstein

 

 

To know that you are needed in another persons life, or to be able to experience the kindness of people is truly magical - giving and receiving in balance. We need each other. 

So many places to go, so many animals to meet :)

One of the things I adore about JC is his love for animals. In his ranking of most favorite companions in this life, I am out-ranked by approximately 4 dogs...and counting! I do not mind, in fact, there is none that I respect and admire more than acts of kindness towards animals, children and old people...and waiters.

 

Here are some 4-legged favorites who recently marked his journey through some of the small towns in our beautiful country.

 

Note: I am not counting the tortoises saved, the spiders rescued or the animals phoned in to the local SPCA's.

Love :))

The road is long...

Another adventure the past week....we visited the Northern Cape for one of my projects. Well, what can I say about towns named Rugseer and Grootdrink?!

 

It is dry, hot and not for sissies, but the sunsets are spectacular over the Orange River. Especially with a glass of beautiful red wine brought all the way from Tokara to mellow the hard edges of the trip :)

 

 

Next time I will bring more music, travel no more than 200km in a day (amazing and affordable places to stay is definitely a positive!) and, if possible, bring more wine!

Gifts!

I have often wondered what I would have studied or which skills I would have developed knowing what I know today....

Would I take French classes at school or maybe Piano lessons instead of playing Netball and choosing Science as a major? I honestly do not know and maybe it does not matter?

One way or another our journey takes us exactly to where we should be at this moment in time. Jobs, money, titles and specific skills do not count. It is the human experience, the act of living and loving and learning that determines if we live our purpose, or not.

Having said all that, there may still be an artist lurking just below the surface...a film director of note, or even a gifted linguist? It all depends on what I want to spend my time on, for I am sure there are many gifts to still uncover.

 

The adventure of life is to learn. The purpose of life is to grow. The nature of life is to change. The challenge of life is to overcome. The essence of life is to care. The opportunity of life is to serve. The secret of life is to dare. The spice of life is to befriend. The beauty of life is to give. The joy of life is to love.

 

 

William Arthur Ward

 

 

 



I am all of this already...

“Do you know what you are?
You are a manuscript oƒ a divine letter.
You are a mirror reflecting a noble face.
This universe is not outside of you.
Look inside yourself;
everything that you want,
you are already that.”

 

Hush, Don't Say Anything to God: Passionate Poems of Rumi

 

 

Homeward bound....

We went up North (Nylstroom) to surprise my parents with a quick visit. My Dad had an amazing year of teaching young and old to play the guitar and finished the year with a concert. Two nights in a row we were treated to witnessing his students: A group from the Abraham Kriel Orphanage, professionals, moms and some very talented upcoming Idols! I wouldn't have missed it for the world - although he nearly had a heart attack when he saw us walking in all the way form Cape Town...LOVE!

I adore them - how did I get so lucky?!

The Guests....

The Guest-House

This being human is a guest-house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you
out for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Say I Am You: Poetry and Translated Stories of Rumi

Life is....darling!

Taking the weekend off to drive out to the small towns around Cape Town....

Stopping to sleep over in Struisbaai...life is Darling :)

This beautiful Country offers so much which I am grateful for...proudly South African I am!

Feeling down...

As mentioned previously, I am in the midst of marking position papers and in spite of my trying to make it comfy, it remains a very subjective, intense and isolating experience. After a while I cannot help but feel a bit down.

So JC noticed the slight withdrawal and all of a sudden I am surrounded by flowers, healthy dinners, invitations for long strolls on the promenade...

What can I say...Angels come in delicious packages ;)

Chanting....

I am currently a bit obsessed with chanting....and this one from Krisna Das envokes beautiful memories of an ashram in Southern India, with my best friend, in the tempel foyer...bliss.

Om namha shivaya :)

Leaving a mark.....

If there is one part of part-time lecturing at the Cape Town Business School I do not enjoy, then it must be marking assignments. I now know every one of the students and I can see how each one gave it their all. Why give a mark? It feels like I am comparing apples and pears....every business case is interesting, every situation unique, every perspective valid. A fail or a pass would do it for me!

So, in order to make the most of the next week, I build my 'nest' for marking. Coffee on the stove, digestive biscuits within easy reach and soft soothing music in the back ground. I have contemplated a glass of wine, but if I get even more relaxed, marks may invariably also increase (!)

With empathy and hopefully some wisdom, I am leaving my mark :)

Looking after me...

Caroline, my Reiki Master and Teacher posted this quote and then went on to write very eloquently on how we must look after ourselves, in order to have enough of "me"left to be of service.

As synchronicity would have it, I heard this same message twice more this week - so OK....I hear you!

I realised there is also a little bit of "I'm OK, you're not OK" in there. Almost as if I am above the mundaneness of daily petty troubles. And every time I look at others and see something that makes me want to run, I realise that I can see it because I recognise it in myself.

So, every once in a while I will now declare a "Me-Day"...sounds almost like May-Day!
- I will do at least 3 things only I enjoy;
- I will invite one person who makes me a better person for a visit;
- I will write a letter to someone I love, telling them how much they mean to me;
- I will not be answering my phone or emails!

So as I plan to discard my Goddess cape this weekend, I know that just for today, I am more aware of what works for me...

Everything is given....

JC calls this an oldy...but a goody! I concur.

 

 

"The wings are yours,

the energy to fly is yours,

the sky is yours -

he has not given you anything.

But still, he has given you a lot.

He has given you courage,

he has given you possibility,

of going on a new adventure,

of going into the unknown."

 

Osho

Keeping at it!

There is an old adage by Robert Schuller that says:

"What great thing would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?"

I am constantly in the midst of some crisis or project and when I  think about is, my answer would usually be a solution to the current issue. Instant gratification baby! 

If I could just constantly have perspective; be able to lift my head out of the scrum and be able to see the whole game. I want to live my life as if the small and big rocks I have to scale are all part of the game...almost giving it texture and interest. I do not think an easy life is always an appreciated life. I certainly need the adventure!

I read a few interesting books, one by Byron Katie "Loving What Is";  Michael Newton's "Journey of Souls" and also "Full Catastrophe Living" by Thich Nhat Hanh, to name a few.
And because I practice Reiki and Yoga I am also very interested in holistic health. Good articles/blogs or newsletters on how our emotional state affect our physical health:
 http://www.alternativehealthandhealing.com/fearofillness.htmland;
 http://www.creatinghealth.co.za/

All good and what it assists with is understanding that "failing" is a perspective and if I choose to look at my life through those glasses, then that's all I see. But if I choose to believe I am destined to succeed...well, then life becomes so much deeper and richer and filled with purpose.

And while another crisis unfolds - I keep at it :)

Hot!

 

Indecently irresistible;

Dangerously dark.

Hot.

 

Desperately defenseless;

Sensuous supplication.

Hot.

 

Anne-marie

 

 



Reading...

One of my favorite pastimes is reading. Hours and hours of paper-paging, musty- smelling escapism. It is a luxury one can only afford if you take the slow lane and have a well-developed imagination.

I can easily read 2 to 3 books at the same time and average about a book every 3 days. One would think that this makes me less picky about what I read, but no!  I do every channel: Kindle, library, 2nd hand book shops and although my book-gluttony makes buying the real-deal less of an option, I do prefer a new book in my hands.

Since completing my studies I cannot tolerate any book that has the words "...steps to success...". Really?! It also has to be a VERY special corporate leader to make me read a bio on Business. A bit of a realist I have become :/

But give me anything that has a "who dunnit" theme, true life accounts of a journey or an adventure, books on the history of the world, psychology, sci-fi, alternative healing...and bring on the period drama's. I can escape within minutes to a different world - a place so real it leaves me feeling empty when the last pages come too soon. 

So here's to the writers, the untold stories and the future adventures:
Long may ye publish!

Connections....

I have always believed that there is no such thing as coincidence. Everything matters. Who you sit next to on the plane, who you work with and who you choose as a friend or a partner. Even if it is just for a specific reason or a short season, the connection has some purpose.

I have found that this make a difference in how I engage and connect with people. Even if it is not something I necessarily want, I believe that I am there for a reason and this understanding makes it special.

Connecting, sharing, reaching out, touching.....watch out, amazing things happen!

Enough now...

Where is the summer? Every now and then we have a spectacular day which makes one almost believe winter is over...

And then it's back to this again...

 

 

Come summertime, enough with winter now!

Keep walking...

 

Standing on a bridge

The moment where yesterday and tomorrow meet

 Faith warms me and hope guides me

I keep walking....

 

No right, no wrong, just growth

Every decision the doorway to another

Honour warms me and love guides me

I keep walking...

 

Anne-marie

 

 

Dreams....

 

I believe in dreams. For me it has proven a most awesome way to get perspective on my life. Anything, from what I am running from, angry about, scared off and all things that are really important to acknowledge seem to pop-up seamlessly when I am not trying to fight it. I have had dreams on people needing me (which they did); things I had to sort out (which I wouldn't have otherwise) and family members passing (which they did).

Most friends tell me they cannot remember their dreams, and if they do, they have no clue what it means.

Here are a few (eccentric!) things I do to access my dreams:

1. I state that I believe in dreams - very important as this shows that you are ready to listen
2. I always ask to remember my dreams before I go to sleep, and for the highest possible good to come from it: be it lessons, warnings or any growth that I need to move forward
3. When I wake up, I do not open my eyes until I have "accessed" where I was in my sleep
4. I write down my "symbols" for everything e.g. water means emotion (floating means not acknowledging, drowning means taking on other people's stuff, weddings means funerals etc. etc.). This is different for most people, but you learn by trial and error
5. Ask a trusted friend what they think when you tell them about a dream, it is amazing how clear things are for someone objective who is not locked in to certain beliefs about something


Truly one of the greatest gifts is to be honest and truthful with yourself and to find a connection to your sub-conscious.