Travels of an Independent woman!

JC started reading this book on a cold winters evening. It is an old trick of his: He reads for us in this baritone, David Attenborough-voice...and I become putty...well....putty-like ;)

The first quote in the book is by Zora Hurston : 

"There are years that ask questions and years that answer." 

I knew I was going to love it! Having traveled and explored extensively as an (independent) woman, I could relate so many of the tales Alice Steinbach shared as she made her way from Paris to London and Oxford, on to Italy, following the must-do North to South trail. Whatever she experiences from her surroundings pale in comparison to her journey within. I am a true believer that we have to shift our perspective, our routine and comfort zones, to really get to know ourselves and to grow. My learnings have been to always have a plan, but to manage your expectations on how it unfolds; to fully live in the moment, rather than rushing of to the next destination;  and to be flexible to take any turn without being too hung up on the schedule... A perfect analogy for life.

Alice captures this when she writes...."I had my map and I started walking. When I approached the corner, I wondered: should I turn right? Or left? Then I realised that it didn't really matter. Either way, something new - perhaps a tiny adventure - awaited my arrival. I hurried down the street. Whatever was around the corner, I didn't want to miss a minute of it."

And this is the delight of travel. It reveals opportunities, it inspires and unexpectedly delights. But most of all it opens the windows to your soul:

We go abroad to wonder at the heights of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motions of the stars, and we pass by ourselves without wondering....

St Augustine

And just when I think I have done enough travel to last me a few life times, I find myself becoming restless again, almost like that Ionging for a soul-mate. A plaintive call which cannot be ignored. 

In the meantime, as I plan the next trip, this book will do nicely....

Walk this way!

And as they walk this way,
I have to say -
What gorgeous examples of the males species!

Picnic on the mountain....

As winter wrapped its icy breath around the mountain, JC and I decided to explore. Picnic basket and blanket packed, we headed out to Champmans Peak. And as if pre-ordained, the sun came out as the clouds wrapped themselves coquettishly around the 12 Apostles. 

I love this place :))

I hear you....

Today made my heart swell. We spend time at Carel du Toit to make ourselves useful. Wonderful work being done by amazing people. It is inspirational to see how people are transformed by a soft touch and a gentle heart.

What I learned had nothing to do with the sense of hearing. I learned that you listen with your heart.
I hear you :)

What am I missing?!

An elderly Gentleman shared a moment with me, and showing all the signs of an unfulfilled, unhappy life, he made me think... 

What will I regret one day? What do I need to be experiencing today, in order not to have regrets tomorrow?

I sat quietly this morning and I tried to list everything that I am really missing out on. Those things that are within my reach, but because I think I have another day to do it in, it never becomes a priority.

Would I like to study for another profession or learn a new language, or even how to play an instrument really well? Would I have like to have a child? What about living in the Seychelles or working in another country? Or even just creating a home for a stray cat and a rescue dog? For that matter, would I like to be married or live with my partner? Would I regret not having my parents live closer to me? Or not having traveled more?

All of these thoughts washed through me, but nothing really stuck...for now :)
I think there are thing that seem desirable for a specific season or a reason. But then that moment passes and you realise why you did not act on it. I will try to remember this, because I know that when you get to a certain age, your perspective changes. We do not look forward anymore, we start backcasting (as opposed to forecasting), wanting to change things that are long past! I want to have the dream now and do baby steps to the best life I can possibly envision.

For me, just knowing that I have a choice is enough to make me feel like I have no regrets. I do not know about the future, but for now I am contented. 

But I'll check again tomorrow!

Letting loose....

I am in the middle of a month of non-stop lecturing. And I mean non-stop...MBA's do modular blocks which is literally Sunday through to the next Friday, 8 hours a day. When dealing with individuals with high expectations, the uniqueness of the different sectors and industries they represent, as well as the diversity of personalities, make for very interesting sessions! But as the saying goes: Variety is the spice of life :) 

So to change things up and make sure I get participation and mastery of the content, it often works to 'flip the class'. Often...but sometimes it can get a bit out of hand... 

Well, being a Corporate animal surely also means you sometimes have to be let loose!

Because I'm happy :)

One of my favorite programmes I facilitate at USB, is Innovation. There is something sexy about change :) To invite in the new and to let go of the redundant. I find it exhilarating to know that there is always a better way, a more efficient solution, a 'sweet spot' we might be missing.

This perpetual need to shake things up (for the highest possible good, I might add!) is unfortunately not shared by most of my colleagues. Even those who say they want change and profess to being leaders of change (why else would you require leadership other than when things change?), have been.... "straightening the deck chairs on the Titanic" of there careers for a long time. Have been holding on to 'emotional contracts' at work, when the only thing that is certain, is that there is none.

I think a sign of our emotional and spiritual maturity is our ability to live with, and accept change as part of life's. The key is to find your power in that, to trust your wings when the mountain moves. You cannot hold on to anything out there, so invariably you have to go 'inside': I love that place that is silent when all hell breaks loose. That calm that descends and the clarity of focus which comes with it. The possibilities are endless and creativity rules. And I really go there! I have been known to run the most legendary meetings, roadshows and change interventions in the Company - and have have pictures to prove it. (I will also not publish them, in order to protect very distinguished Captains of industry!)

I love how it brings out the best in people, the parts of them they do not always nurture. I hope it does not make me a maverick?! 

Maybe I'm just..................happy :)

For Nico....

Granny goose duvet tumbled over needs.

Brushed Egyptian cotton covering a fleeting thought -

Sinking deeper into cushioned dreams.

And as your surrender to the tide,

I swallow my tears.

Anne-marie

I wonder....

One of my favorite tools at work is the Eisenhower Matrix....so simple but so effective to sort through stuff when I think I do not have time. 

It is very important to me to feel as if I have a choice on what I do and how I spend my time. Even if I choose to do something I know is not important,  that I actually had time, but chose not to use it,  I want to own the choice...Definitely not in control of all that happens to me, but absolutely how I choose to react to it :)

"It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters."

Epictetus

Easy when we talk about business and doing simple tasks, very difficult when when it comes to the BIG questions. Our choice to live the life's we are living? Some of my friends believe they have very little choice. I see strong woman who chose to marry, have children, a specific career. All choices, yet when it comes to managing the different outcomes of these choices (we have very clear expectations of how this all needs to flow!) we often feel like all is out of our control?

I wonder... if we all stop complaining about schooling and health care and politics and used our power to do it in the way we would like to see it. Instead of trailing along with everyone 'because we do not have a choice', how would our life's look? If we chose the simple lifestyle, back to basics, instead of feeling like we do not have enough....enough stuff, enough time, money, energy, love.

I wonder...

Power and all that stuff...

Having been part of the Corporate incubator for over 20 years, I have always been fascinated with Leadership and more particularly the concept of Power. I have witnessed many people without the traditional sense of power (e.g. position, money, status, sex etc.) who have the ability to effortlessly influence and guide people. They seem somehow 'sorted' and strong in the non-traditional sense. Not necessarily charismatic or great orators, but their energy has a mobilising and collaborating effect. We never seem to disagree in a performance meeting on what these individuals bring to the Company. The hour-long debates should tell you something about a person...they do not have it yet.

My theory is that notwithstanding the traditional leadership traits and development initiatives, we are dealing with people who are authentically themselves. They have learned how to stand comfortably in their own skin. They are OK with the good, the bad and the ugly - and it shows! These people are not perfect, they make mistakes, but they are real and true to themselves. They are less afraid of what people think and more concerned about not betraying themselves. They face their fears and they share their journey - and who does not love to see courage in action? The acceptance of yourself and the intent to be the best 'you' that you can be, leads to true power...

Which brings me to my point - I think I can sing. Others do not necessarily agree, but I have embraced this power I have to bring a fired-up karaoke crowd to silence. As I have come to realise that this may not be what others perceive to be my most compelling self, I have chosen one song and have spend hours on it... This is part of being the best 'me' I can possible be. And I have to tell you, I am good! I anxiously await our next team building as I practice standing in my own power...authentically belting out "Rule the World..."

Autumn shape-up....

It is autumn in Cape Town and may this season linger long! Sunny days followed by sultry sunsets, with a bit of whimsical weather thrown in for variation. I had a fun-filled summer and trying to get into my corporate garb was a bit...disappointing. (It is very hard for a Pescetarian, who holds no particular preference for fish (!) to get away from the dessert trolley....)

I promptly opened MyFitnessPal.com and nearly had a heart attack when I saw what I was consuming?! In defense, being a gourmet goddess does not help....

But I am not discouraged. I bravely document my meals with (well presented) protein and pacify my lingering taste buds with low-cal chocolate mousse...grrr!

And as an extra incentive, I am planning my next trip to sunny Greece - but just in case I need a bit of extra room, I am shopping for something which can expand!

You look at me....

I tend to lean away 

as you hold on to me.

I sit in revered silence 

as your echos fill the room.

I witness feelings

whilst you live them every day. 

But I do know love
because of how you look at me.

Anne-marie

Bottle duty!

I am always looking for thoughtful gifts to share with my friends. And being a gourmet goddess, I decided to share what I have always loved having in my own fridge.

Some of my favorites:

Basil Pesto
Blue cheese dressing
Chili, pepper and garlic oil

I also make a lovely sweet mustard with wholegrain seeds and a pasta salad bottled in a sweet & sour sauce. All organic, all packed with love....

Hypnosis?!

I regularly visit a Chiropractor to keep me mobile. Long story...

He is quiet famous and although he looks conventional, his techniques are very, well, interesting. For one, he uses Dr. David Hawkins "yes/no" system and his pendulum to get answers from me. He always says that we tell ourselves a story but our bodies never lie. He is also a firm believer in acupuncture and hypnosis and during my last visit, advised me to visit either of these disciplines. I am still walking, and I have seen too much to be anything other than a believer. And I am curious by nature....

And then a friend gave up smoking after a few visits to a Hypnotists - he was a hard-core smoker, more than 40 a day - and it's been almost a year. Which made me start reading up on hypnosis (never outsource your responsibility to own whatever you do!) before I get myself mesmerised by a therapist :) No seriously, it was a Dr. Mesmer in the early 1800's who opened the door to modern day hypnotism (from Greek work "sleep").

I have my shortlist of practitioners, and yes, I will be taking a short course on the subject, but in the meantime....count down with me from 10, 9, 8......

Love....

I have phrases and whole pages memorized,

but nothing can be told of love.

We must wait until you and I are united.

In the conversation we'll have 

then...be patient...then.

From Essential Rumi by Coleman Barks